


the bloody petals in his lungs

by kotarotrash



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Bokuaka - Freeform, College AU, Dramatic Oikawa, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Idk what more to write, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, Pink Camellias, Separate colleges IwaOi, forget-me-nots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-14 01:36:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13583235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kotarotrash/pseuds/kotarotrash
Summary: in which the both of them suffers too much before light shines upon the truth.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i'm fairly new to this fanfiction thingy, so please bear with me. i promise to do the best i can to bring tears in your eyes— enjoy!

Oikawa Tooru never thought he'd fall in love. He just didn't see himself as someone who would allow distractions to enter his life. Not when he was reaching the peak of his high school volleyball career. Not when he was one step closer to the dream he'd been trying to grasp in his hands, only to have it slip away constantly like sand on a summer day. He definitely cannot afford to fall in love.

At least, that's what he kept telling himself.

_'You can't fall in love. You won't.'_

Every single time his own honey-colored gaze met olive green, he couldn't help but chant those two sentences to himself, using it as some form of mantra to keep himself grounded. And that happened a lot of times, mind you. Their eyes would meet while on the court, whether they were on opposite sides of the net or together in one. During lunch breaks, during practice breaks, during their walks home, during dinner at either of their neighboring houses. You get the point.

But somewhere along the way, accidental eye contact became intentional on Oikawa's part. Most of the time, he would demand the ace's eyes on his, through his whining, his playful teasing, his overall clinginess, but never in direct attempts.

It sucks how Oikawa is only realizing this now, as the both of them stood side-by-side, knuckles brushing together in a way of comfort only the both of them knew how. He could hear the school principal blabbering on the microphone about things he and the other graduates were sure was only meant to be white lies to give their batch a better image, he didn't care. This was his last day around. He could at least let the bald man say the things he wanted.

It sucks, it truly does.

He could feel something ball up in his throat and restrict his breathing, bringing an onslaught of tears in his eyes.

_'Why here? Why now?'_

He brought his hand up to cup his mouth, effectively cutting off any form of contact between him and the cause of his current distress. Oikawa could feel a cough forcing its way out of his respiratory tract; a cough so extreme, he was worried his entire voice box will come along with it.

He was being dramatic, he knew it. He also knew how he needed to get out of there. Fast. Because something was rising at the back of his throat and he could only do so much to prevent it from spilling out of his lips.

Oikawa met the eyes of his parents from across the gym, sending them an apologetic look before he ducked and ran out as fast as his feet could take him.

Away from the crowd.

Away from the olive green eyes that chased his back before it was hidden by blue metal doors.

 

* * *

 

Iwaizumi Hajime didn't know what to make of the situation. Their graduation song was just about to start when Oikawa had run off somewhere. He was conflicted. Should he run after the whiny brat? Should he just stay and let the ceremony finish before looking for his best friend? Iwaizumi chose the more logical answer.

He opened his mouth and began to sing their parting song, one that he had practiced with all the kids in his year level for months prior to this day.

 

* * *

 

Time passed by in a blur for Oikawa. His head was pounding, his throat drier than a damn desert, and his vision was clouded with varying hues of blue, violet, and hints of red. The setter's eyes were fixed firmly on the sink, more specifically, what's in it. He knew enough from listening to his agriculture class to know what these flowers were.

_Myosotis scorpioides_. Forget-Me-Nots.

A laugh bubbled from Oikawa's already roughened throat.  A cold, distant, soulless laugh resonated in the empty bathroom. Aside from knowing exactly what the plant was, he also knew what it entailed. He always paid close attention in health class. (Only because Iwaizumi asked him to.)

Hanahaki disease. A disease characterized by coughing up petals, and in later stages, whole flowers, as it grew in the patient's lungs. The cause? Unrequited love. The cure? Reciprocation or surgery. If one chooses surgery, the infection will be extracted; the flowers can be removed, but with it comes the romantic feelings that were the source.

Everything that was happening was so ironic to Oikawa that he couldn't help but let his own body slump down on the ground in a heap of blue petals and bloodstains, hysterical laughter and tears.

Don't fall in love, he said to himself. Of course, that's exactly what his treacherous heart did.

 

* * *

  

When he was sure that the ceremony had ended, and that he was at least presentable, he exited the temporary sanctuary he had made. He already cleaned the space he occupied earlier, dumping the beautifully deadly petals into the trash bin and cleaning any remains of his blood from the sink. The bathroom looked as good as when he had entered, not that he had any recollection of it, seeing as he was in a rush. 

Smoothing his palms over his uniform once more, he walked down the empty hallway, retracing the steps he had taken earlier. Although this time, he took a left instead of directly entering the metal door he exited from. Outside, students, parents, and staff littered the vast space. He didn't have a hard time trying to find his family. What with Takeru's voice overpowering the crowd's chattering and Tooru's height, he easily spotted his loved ones. 

With a confident stride not matching the emotional wreck he was inside, Tooru approached. A bright smile was painted on his face as he greeted them with open arms. "Hello, lovely family!" 

He was immediately bombarded by a hug from Takeru and Tooru's sister, making him erupt in fits of genuine laughter. His eyes met his mother's and he gave her a nod, a silent promise to tell her what had occurred earlier. Satisfied with his response, she and Tooru's father joined in on the hug, making Tooru tear up even more. 

"Stop it, you all! No one wants to see my crying face on the last day!" He whined playfully, loudly, the way he usually did. This earned him a jab on the sides from his family. "Alright, alright! Stop the abuse on poor Tooru!" 

Thankfully, they backed off and gave him time to roam around and bid his congratulations to other graduates. "Makki! Mattsun!" 

"Dear Lord, help us in facing the obstacle about to approach."

Hanamaki Takahiro and Matsukawa Issei simultaneously turned around on the balls of their feet, having practiced the exact response in preparation for that moment. Oikawa stared at the duo for a while, his mouth agape as his brain processed the display. A few moments of silence passed between them, Oikawa's face scrunched up in confusion and the duo's remaining blank. 

Then, loud boisterous laughter erupted from deep within Oikawa's chest, making him stumble on his feet and squat on the ground to prevent himself from landing on his backside. "What the hell was that?!" His face was definitely the color of ripe tomatoes now as he wheezed in laughter, air struggling to get into his lungs. 

"That was our prayer to ward off evil," Mattsun replied, the straight face still intact. That only made Oikawa laugh even more. Makki, however, cracked and emitted a few chuckles of his own. 

Once he had calmed down, Oikawa stood back up and slung his arms around his friends, bringing their heads together and ruffling their hair. "Congratulations to us!" 

"Celebrating without me?"

Oikawa's heart skipped a beat. Or maybe it stopped entirely for 3 straight seconds, he didn't know. 

"O-of course not, Iwa-chan! Y-you were just n-nowhere to be seen because you were so short!" He knew he was stuttering, heck, even the graduates of the school the next town over can hear just how nervous Oikawa was, but he cleared his throat, attempting to bat it off as nothing. 

But then again, whoever thinks that Oikawa Tooru can fool Iwaizumi Hajime on the first try must be ignorant. He could feel his best friend's soft yet criticizing gaze on him, roaming the entire length of his physique for any sort of clue. Too bad for him, Oikawa had made sure not a single thing was astray. 

"Yeah, Iwa-chan! You were so short we couldn't see you among the crowd!" Mattsun's voice, imitating Oikawa's nasal one but with a deadpanned tone, broke Oikawa's train of thought, and he forced a genuine-sounding laughter through his lips. Iwaizumi's gaze steeled as his eyes snapped from Oikawa to the tallest among the bunch. 

"I can still strangle you with my arms, Issei, watch it." His threat was empty, all of them knew that which only made them laugh. 

 More celebratory hugs and handshakes were passed around, smiles and laughter also present among the lips of the graduates and their families. The quartet posed for a few (okay, a lot) of pictures, Oikawa taking advantage of this as he was usually always denied when asking for a photograph with all of them present. 

Oikawa knew to himself that he would never forget this day.

Not when this day finalized the last nail in his coffin, the headstone on his grave. 

 

* * *

  

_6 months later_

Iwaizumi pushed a stray strand of hair out of his eyes as he tried to inhale as much oxygen as he can. It was especially worse in nights, just a little after 9 in the evening, when his last meal had finally settled. It was almost as if it was teasing him, giving him utter pain when he was just about to relax for the night. This really was torture. He gagged once, twice, before a plethora of petals accompanied by saliva and traces of blood left his mouth and went directly into the toilet he was leaning on. 

' _God damn it_ ', he thought to himself as he angrily swiped the back of his hand across his mouth. Every time he puked these damned petals out, it was like clockwork. At 9 PM it will start, then, when it finally reaches the 5-minute mark, his lungs will settle, the flowers will give him time to recuperate, time to rest. He didn't know whether he should be angered by or thankful for it. 

He flushed the toilet, pushing his weakened body up to brush his teeth, then out the door towards his bedroom proper. His roommate was somewhere around their apartment, probably fiddling with the stuff he needed for his classes. His dormmate's twin sister, however, Iwaizumi saw her making herself comfortable on his bed as he exited the bathroom. He only sighed in a mixture of frustration and despair.

"This is so fucking hard," he admitted, throwing himself onto the large bed, careful not to squish the lady with his weight. 

Her laughter made him look at the raven-haired teen, a glare in his green eyes. "I'm repeating this again, Hajime-kun. You can always get it removed. My mother can give you a discount. Knowing me and Junpei really does have its perks, you know."

"And I will repeat _this_ to you, Junmi. _I don't want that_. These feelings have been a part of me for longer than I was aware. I'm not going to treat it as if it's some disease that'll be the cause of my death," Iwaizumi tried to argue, rising up so he can sit with his back flat against the headboard. 

"But it is, Hajime! It's slowly killing you and you know it!" 

He did know. He knew it fully well. But he still didn't want to risk it. Loving Oikawa has been the only constant thing in his life. If he didn't have that, what more could he live for? Volleyball? He played it for Oikawa. His dream of becoming a doctor? He wanted that so he could treat Oikawa for when he becomes so overworked he breaks. Iwaizumi Hajime just wasn't him without Oikawa Tooru somewhere in the mix. 

His silence was enough of an answer for Junmi. She threw the duvet off of her body and stood up, stretching her limbs before reaching towards Iwaizumi's nightstand for the bottle of pills. She tossed it to him, directly into his awaiting hands. "The usual. Only take one every day, after lunch. Tell me if anything goes wrong." 

Iwaizumi only gave her a curt nod, one she returned with her own before she left him on his own. With the help of the lamp beside his bed, he scanned the writings on the pill bottle. 

' _Suppressants_. _Iwaizumi Hajime. 19 years old. 06/10. THESE PILLS ARE FOR CONSENSUAL TRIAL ONLY. Do not take unless prescribed by a professional._ '

He placed the bottle gently on the bedside table, turned the lamps off, and settled in for another night of self-desecrating and overthinking. 

He met the Sasaki twins when he moved into the very apartment he was staying in now. The apartment was perfect for him. It wasn't too far from the campus, he had someone who would help him on the rent, and he didn't have to live with 3 other people in addition to his already stressful schedule. 

Junpei, his roommate, was studying mechanical engineering, which usually meant clutter in every corner of their damn apartment. Junmi, on the other hand, was studying biology, on the way to follow their mother's footsteps in being the well-known doctor that she was. 

Getting the twins to be Iwaizumi's friends weren't hard at all. The two were a rumbunctious pair, overly friendly and definitely overly noisy. But Iwaizumi had faced worse. 

They were also aware of his situation: his Hanahaki. Thankfully, their mother was someone who specializes in the treatment of the aforementioned disease, and with a few pulls and tugs on her connections, Iwaizumi became one of the trial subjects for the drug they were developing. Sadly, the drug was still something temporary, suppressants, not a cure.

But Iwaizumi couldn't afford to be ungrateful. Thanks to the pills, his Hanahaki progressed slowly. It's been what, 4, 5 months since he discovered his own feelings and he's still at the very early stages of the sickness. 

With this in mind, Iwaizumi couldn't help but think back to the very day he acquired it. 

 

* * *

 

It had only been a month since their graduation when he had finally moved into his apartment. 

He and Oikawa decided to go to separate schools for college. Sticking together wasn't going to do them any good and they both knew that. The decision was set in stone since the beginning of their third year in high school, yet Iwaizumi couldn't help but doubt that decision now. 

He was almost _ashamed_ to admit it, but Iwaizumi was missing something. Perhaps he missed being needed by someone and knowing exactly what he needs. For a while, he was convinced that that was it. He immediately made friends with his roommate. 

But even after that, even after forming himself his own circle of friends in the just the first month of uni, Iwaizumi felt like something lacked. Dare he say, Iwaizumi felt _hollow_. When that thought implanted itself in his mind, it stuck and like a tumor, it grew.

Iwaizumi had always been prone to overthinking, this wasn't new to him. But the result of his overthinking, this time, had him scared off his own ass.

He _missed_ Oikawa. Not only that, but he _loved_ him. Perhaps he had for far too long, he was only too dense and lacking in self-awareness to realize it. 

Being scared was definitely the right reaction, because a few handful of minutes after he admitted it to himself, he coughed out the first petal. It was pink, it didn't smell great, and it had streaks of blood. 

He definitely was scared, alright. How was he going to explain this to his best friend now? 

 

* * *

 

With a resigned sigh, Iwaizumi allowed his eyes to screw shut. Maybe in the morning, he'd wake up and not see his bedside littered with pink petals and bloodstains. Maybe in the morning, he'd realize the past 6 months had been nothing but a dream. Maybe. Maybe.

_Hopefully_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: kotarotrash  
> tumblr: kotarotrash.tumblr.com


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a reunion long overdue, revelations, and oikawa choking. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i luff u guys so much, thank you for reading! i hope you enjoy this chapter ♥ drop down comments, i don't bite!

At the first few months of his first college semester, Oikawa felt like he was a bystander in his own body, his own life. He felt like the disease held the reins to how his life turned out to be, and for a while, he allowed it. He allowed the growing stems in his lungs to wrap around the joystick that controlled his actions and idly watched as wrong decisions after wrong decisions were made.   
  
Weeks passed, and thankfully, Oikawa regained the slightest bit of footing in the otherwise disastrous state his mind was in. The disease wasn't as apparent as it usually presented itself as, and for this, Oikawa was very fortunate. He didn't know the exact reason, but maybe it was because of him distancing himself from Iwaizumi.   
  
That's right.  
  
He had been ignoring Iwaizumi for months now. He avoided his supposed best friend like he carried  _Ebola_  in his fingertips because Oikawa was too damn afraid to tell him the truth. Somewhere in Oikawa's petty mind, he knew that this was wrong. He wasn't supposed to be deleting a thousand messages every morning without even reading them just because he's scared. He wasn't supposed to be turning his phone in 'do not disturb' mode just because he doesn't feel like hearing that one voice he misses the most; he wasn't supposed to be acting this way at all.   
  
But then again, what can he do, really?   
  
Was he supposed to allow the barrage of platonic concern from the person he loves but only sees him as an annoying brother? No, he refuses to torture himself that way.   
  
He'd done his research. He knows as much as the internet can provide him. According to some sites and a few forums, the Hanahaki and how it progresses depends on the person and the loved one.  
  
Does the flower have a meaning? Does distance have anything to do with the Hanahaki? How extreme would the coughing and vomiting get? How much time does he have left if he has Hanahaki?  _Is there a known cure?_  
  
Oikawa knows everything there is to know now and as he stared at his ragged reflection from the mirror, he couldn't help but clench his fist around the tiny, blue flower he picked up from the sink.   
  
Forget-me-nots, he recalled, were known to signify a number of things: true, undying love, loyalty despite separation, and connections that last through time. Oikawa couldn't help but laugh at the irony.  
  
If this connection that he was feeling so strongly for Iwaizumi could last through time, he'd be long dead before he could see the end.

* * *

  
  
_From: Makki~_    
  
_oi,_ tooru _!_ you free _tomorrow?_  
  
The text message left Oikawa relatively surprised. Having cut off any form of contact between him and Iwaizumi, he had expected their other two friends to somehow be angry at him as well. The university Makki and Mattsun were attending was closer to Iwaizumi's than to Oikawa's, so he just assumed that maybe the duo harbored some negativity towards him.   
  
_From: Makki~_    
  
_you alive?_    
  
Almost tearing up, Oikawa hastily typed in his reply.   
  
_To: Makki~_    
  
_MAKKI! I'M FREE, BUT KNOW THAT I WILL ALWAYS FREE MY SCHED JUST 4 U ＼(≧▽≦)／_  
  
_From: Makki~_    
  
_says the person who hasn't texted for months._  
  
_To: Makki~_  
  
_makki Σ(°△°|||)︴_  
  
_From: Makki~_  
  
_we'll be there at yours tomorrow. you better have somewhere nice to take us or else._  
  
_To: Makki~_  
  
_(￣^￣)ゞ yes boss!_  
  
_To: Makki~_  
  
_wait... who is 'we' exactly?_

 

* * *

  
  
Having not received a reply from his friend, Oikawa was nervous. What if Iwaizumi shows up? There's a 0.001% chance of that not happening, but Oikawa clung to it like it's his lifeline. Aside from that, though, he was buzzing with excitement. It was probably going to be the only eventful and enjoyable thing that'll happen to him in months and he wasn't going to let it all go to waste.   
  
After putting on a medical face mask, the brunette began cleaning his apartment. Good thing he lived alone, or else his roommate would be greeted by a very pale Oikawa Tooru clad in nothing but alien boxers.   
  
Oikawa hated cleaning with a passion. He thought of it as a waste of time. Why clean when he's just going to make a mess again anyway? Cleaning had always been Iwaizumi's thing. Perhaps if he lived with Oikawa, his apartment wouldn't be housing cobwebs and dusty shelves.   
  
He caught himself with a harsh facepalm. There he went again, thinking about things that only made his lungs ache and his heart hurt. Shaking off unnecessary thoughts, he finished up, sweeping stray blue petals from random corners into the dustpan in his hand and disposing it into the trash bin.   
  
Oikawa stood by the front door, facing the entirety of his apartment with his hands on his hips and a proud smile on his face, the first one in a long, long while. Mentally giving himself a pat on the back, he skipped toward his bedroom, only to be welcomed by another hurricane of a mess.   
  
Oh well. It's not like Hanamaki and Matsukawa were going into his bedroom anyway, no point in cleaning that now.

 

* * *

  
  
Three god-awful knocks threatened to bust down his door. He'd know that heavy knocking technique anywhere.   
  
Oikawa looked towards the mirror for the last time, appraising the look he managed to put together so early in the morning. He had put on a plain white V-neck and a pair of black jeans which were probably one size smaller than his actual size (he only bought it because it hugged his ass and thighs nicely). He topped the look off with a black bomber jacket with lots of embroidered patches that Oikawa himself had placed there. Aliens, a volleyball, flowers, and many other significant knickknacks.   
  
Giving himself a thumb of approval, he proceeded to open the door for his impatient guests. His two best friends greeted him with blank stares and deep frowns, causing panic to erupt from within him.   
  
For the first time in the length of their friendship, Oikawa didn't know what to say. Should he apologize for not checking in? Should he just be hospitable and thank them for coming? Should he not say anything at all?  
  
Anxiety started bubbling in his throat and he bit his lower lip to at least attempt to stop random petals from spilling over his mouth. His gaze was fixed on their shoes, tracing the patterns in their sneakers before he noticed something that almost had him hightailing the way out of god damn Japan.  
  
There were  _three_  pairs of shoes.  
  
"Long time no see."  
  
He heard him before he saw him. Oikawa slumped his shoulders, curling into himself as much as his stature could allow him to while upright. Tears were already pooling in his eyes and he cursed them, cursed himself for being so dramatic all the damn time.  
  
"Oikawa."   
  
He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head as he retreated into himself. What was he supposed to do now? Having Iwaizumi here amplified his anxiety and he was sure he was seconds away from dying from self-suffocation when—  
  
"Tooru."  
  
A sob dislodged itself from his throat and suddenly, three pairs of limbs were around him. One of the hands was on his head, ruffling the hair he took 20 minutes to fix. Two pairs of arms were around his waist. Oikawa was sure they were quite the sight, but at that moment, he didn't care. So what if he was 19 and sobbing childishly? He had reunited with his friends, the tears were definitely called for.  
  
A few minutes of them in a bundle of limbs and Oikawa's tears, Makki spoke up. "Now, now. You don't plan on crying all day, do you? We have plans!"   
  
Oikawa couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. "What do you think of me, Makki? I planned a whole lot!" He wiped the tear tracks on his cheeks as all of them pulled away from the mess of a hug. "I was so excited I couldn't sleep!"  
  
That earned a concerned frown from Iwaizumi, one that Oikawa pointedly ignored.  
  
"Well then, let's get the day rolling." 

 

* * *

  
  
Oikawa took them to see his campus, pointing out a few of his favorite spots– not that he knew much about the other buildings aside from where he had his classes. After all, he had only been here a few months.  
  
During their journey, he made it a point to always have either Makki or Mattsun or both between him and Iwaizumi. If ever a question was asked, he kept his response quick and short. Iwaizumi might know about his aversion to his best friend, but thankfully, he never once voiced it out. Despite that, though, Oikawa could feel eyes on him that never once faltered.   
  
After pulling them around like dogs on a leash, he allowed them to pick out their next destination. He knew enough from their years in high school to know that his friends would tolerate his quirks, but only to a certain limit.  
  
"Food" was the simultaneous reply. He couldn't help but roll his eyes.   
  
Oikawa led the way with Makki by his side and the other two a few steps behind. It was silent, all too silent. But it was comfortable and for that, he was glad. He kept his eyes ahead and walked, tracing the white line on the sidewalk, knowing it led the way to his favorite cafe (the only cafe he ever went to, really).   
  
The sky was clear and blue, the wind blowing cold enough to seep through his clothes but not enough to have him shivering. It was, all in all, a perfect day.  
  
At least so far.  
  
Because as the cafe entered his line of sight, he felt a small brush against the bare area between his hairline and the top of his jacket. It was subtle, having only felt it briefly, but it was a touch he was all too familiar with.   
  
The warmth, that gentle touch, heck,  _the callouses_. You could give him a fingerprint sample and  _he'd still know_. Oikawa knew who they belonged to.  
  
Without thinking twice, he fled the scene, running towards the cafe doors as if his derrière was on fire. He ran straight to the bathroom as he felt something rise on the back of his throat.   
  
_God fucking damn it. Why now?!_  

 

* * *

  
  
Iwaizumi woke up on Saturday morning to loud banging on his door. For a minute, he contemplated just sitting it out and waiting for Junpei to answer the door, but after a few disoriented minutes, he recalled the night before.   
  
Junpei asking him to keep their place clean, Junpei asking him not to forget to take breaks in between advanced studying, Junmi reminding him of his pills. The Sasaki twins had gone home for the weekend, so the dorm was all his.  
  
The knocking on the door was probably for him, too.   
  
Throwing the sheets off his body, he sleepily walked towards the door, glancing at the clock as he passed by.   
  
It was _7 in the morning, who in hell was here so damn early on a Saturday?!_  
  
Keeping a scowl on his face, he threw the door open, letting it bang against the wall intentionally, just to see if he can scare away whoever interrupted his sleep.  
  
Too bad for him, the faces that greeted him were used to his morning grumpiness.   
  
With matching smirks, Takahiro and Issei barged inside, leaving a stunned Iwaizumi to close the door.   
  
"What're you here for?" He asked as he slumped down on the recliner seat across the couch they occupied, eyeing the couple warily. It was never good, what these two were up to. Iwaizumi had the right to be cautious.   
  
"Remember when you left and I said we all should plan and meet up somewhere sometime?" Takahiro started. The quieter one of the two was leaning his head back against the couch and allowing his boyfriend to speak. "Well, let's do it now! I've talked to Oikawa. He agreed to go to his for now."  
  
To say Iwaizumi was surprised was an understatement. The mention of his name made him flinch, which didn't go unnoticed by Issei. However, what truly surprised him was the fact that Takahiro managed to talk to Oikawa.  
  
"How," his voice came out strained. He cleared his throat before continuing, "How did you manage to talk to him?"  
  
"I texted him." Takahiro shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
It should be. But to Iwaizumi, it wasn't. The information only left him even more confused. Oikawa had the time to reply to _a single message_ from Takahiro, yet he didn't to the million texts Iwaizumi had sent?   
  
He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, focusing on the matter at hand.   
  
Maybe he'll try to talk things out with Oikawa when they see each other later.  
  
With that in mind, Iwaizumi started preparing for the long day ahead.

 

* * *

 

Getting Oikawa to talk things out with him was a harder task than he let on. If he ever second-guessed that the brat was ignoring him, all of those doubts were eradicated. He was 120% sure that Tooru was ignoring him, from Oikawa opening the door for them to the moment he ran off without the slightest hint as to where he was going, it was clear as day.

The three of them didn't bother with attempting to chase their friend. They saw him enter a cafe, which Iwaizumi assumed was their destination all along, surely he won't be going anywhere they won't see, right? Looking amongst themselves with confusion in their eyes, they followed the fourth part of their group.

Café Isaberu was a beautiful place, Iwaizumi must admit. He could see why Tooru would love this cafe as much as he did. The walls were painted navy blue, giving the restaurant a slightly dark aura, but the various fairy lights decorating the walls and the star-shaped hanging lamps made up for it. Upon entry, he was greeted by stars painted on the ceiling and Iwaizumi could vaguely point out the very few constellations Tooru made sure to drill into his brain.

A smile unknowingly made its way to his face. The restaurant just screams Oikawa Tooru.

"Sorry about that!" His head snapped towards the source of the voice, seeing his best friend approach them in long steps. "I had a really bad urge to pee!"

His voice was a pitch higher than it normally was, that kind of thing never slipped past Iwaizumi's attention. It was a sign of his childhood friend putting on a front, a sign of him lying. Usually, Iwaizumi would pester him until he gave up the facade and showed him the truth, but today was not sorted under that 'usually'. Today was a special case of Iwaizumi ignoring that sign and proceeding as normal.

However, he just couldn't stop something that was hardcoded into his system: _Care for Oikawa Tooru because he can't do it for himself_. "You had us worried for a second there," Hajime had muttered out of instinct.

It startled Iwaizumi and from the reaction on the brunette's face, he was just as surprised as he. He watched as redness crawled around his pale neck and settled on his cheeks, the taller's eyes refusing to meet his own.

Iwaizumi reached a hand out to Tooru but stopped midway, catching himself before he could do something that he could potentially regret.

Regret. That word stung.

When did it come to be like this? When had Iwaizumi ever felt like he would _regret_ touching Tooru?

He curled his hand into a fist as an ache formed in his chest and he dropped it down to his side. He took one step to the left and maneuvered around Tooru, using the excuse of finding them a seat.

 _Get a grip, Hajime._  He almost punched himself in the face right then and there, but he refrained from doing so, not wanting to draw any more attention to himself. 

Sighting an empty table for four on a corner of the restaurant, Iwaizumi walked towards it, claiming one of the seats. He watched the others follow his lead, Takahiro and Issei sharing a look unbeknownst to the other two. 

The seating arrangement they ended up with proved to be a problem. Beside Iwaizumi was Issei, across from the silent guy was his boyfriend, leaving one vacant seat across Iwaizumi for Oikawa to take. Tooru's legs were long, even when folded by the knee and no attempt of backing up proved to stop their knees from brushing every once in a while. 

Small talk began around the table with Takahiro and Tooru taking the reins. Issei and Hajime occasionally offered their input about the weather, school work, and other things that the two loud ones came up with. 

Then the topic strayed to volleyball.

"How's your team, Tooru? Did they make you captain yet?" Hanamaki piped up, looking towards his right to Oikawa, who visibly flinched at the inquiry. This made Iwaizumi's eyes narrow. _What's with that?_

"H-hah! Yeah no. Only stupid people would make a first-year captain, Makki!" Again, his voice was a pitch higher. Iwaizumi had learned from his childhood that the only way to _really_ know Oikawa and what he was thinking was to be observant. He could see sweat suddenly gather around his pale neck and Iwaizumi already knew something was wrong.

Earlier, Iwaizumi had a hunch. Oikawa Tooru loved volleyball like he loved his own face. With that fact in mind, Iwaizumi initially assumed that the first thing they would be doing today was visiting Tooru's territory, his volleyball gym.

But that never came, and now he had a conclusion.

Hanahaki, his unrequited love for Tooru, and the brat's evasion to Iwaizumi. With all those matters aside, Iwaizumi leaned forward on the table, his elbows braced against the wood and his face much closer to Tooru's than it ever was for the past several months. 

"You haven't been playing, have you?" 

"W-what are you saying, Iwa-cha—Iwaizumi? If you must know, of course, I have!" He replied but kept his eyes focused on everything but Iwaizumi's olive pair. 

"Bullshit." 

"Yeah, Tooru. Bullshit." Three pairs of eyes snapped towards Issei who had leaned back on his seat and crossed his arms across his chest. "Utter bullshit."

Oikawa sighed in resignation, knowing fully well that the battle was lost. 

He told them everything: why he hasn't attended a  _single_ volleyball practice despite having applied the first day, how he just didn't seem to be in the mood to play and didn't want to put his health on the line by forcing himself to play, how he just _didn't_ want to play, at least not yet. Iwaizumi was baffled. He couldn't think of anything to say. 

In the past, not getting to play or even _hold_ a volleyball had Oikawa in tantrums. He would often cry to Iwaizumi— _only to Iwaizumi—_ after matches in the locker room every single time his knee withheld him from playing. The news of his knee bearing the potential to destroy his career had Oikawa depressed for _months_. Iwaizumi couldn't remember a time when Oikawa didn't feel like playing volleyball ever since he discovered the sport. And now he hears this? 

Everything was silent after Tooru's explanations. None of them knew what to say, and Iwaizumi personally thought that Oikawa needed the silence. He had kept all that bottled up for so long, and now that he had it all out, he deserved time to breathe, time to think. 

The air was getting gloomy and very stuffy when a woman approached their table. "Tooru-kun!" She sported a bright smile on her face, and it seemed contagious enough because Oikawa shot up with a smile (prettier than the lady's) and hugged her.

"Isabelle-chan! Long time no see!" 

The two of them engaged in a conversation and Iwaizumi couldn't help but stare. 

 _I missed you_ , his mind screamed as he observed Tooru. 

_I miss you._

 

* * *

 

Tooru and the lady, who apparently was the owner of the cafe, didn't speak long. After a while, Isabelle-san had to go back to the kitchen. She took the group's orders and promised Oikawa a freebie. When Oikawa sat back down, they returned to their earlier topic, Hanamaki encouraging— _forcing_ —Tooru to pick up a volleyball again with the threat of skinning him alive. Issei and Iwaizumi only chuckled when Oikawa promised to do so, but deep inside, they were glad. Oikawa Tooru without volleyball just wasn't right. 

 

* * *

 

Everything returned to normal then, except for the fact that Oikawa was _still_ avoiding Iwaizumi. Hajime didn't want to do anything about it, not yet. He'd rather have Oikawa admitting to his own faults than Hajime forcing it out of him. 

Iwaizumi's disease was kept in check by the pill he had taken before he left his dorm, thankfully, so he didn't have much problems with that aside from a few petals here and there. 

Oikawa, on the other hand, seemed to be down with the cold. He would often cough into a handkerchief throughout their meal, or excuse himself to the bathroom so he could blow his nose. Oikawa was always conscious about how he appeared to other people, so Iwaizumi paid it no mind. 

Hajime heard his name being called and he snapped back into attention, an eyebrow raised at Takahiro.

"I said, how was your dorm?"

"Oh, that. It's alright. My roommate's a really noisy one but he's alright, I guess," Iwaizumi answered, shrugging his shoulders. "That's about it. Junpei has a twin sister, though, Junmi. She's hangs out a lot in our room." 

He chuckled, thinking about the different shenanigans of the twins. Sometimes he feels as if though he's the one taking care of them, not the other way around. 

"What's with that smile, Hajime?! And twin sister, really?" Takahiro launched into a parade of teasing. "You with her, man?"

"Yeah."

The lie slipped out of his lips easily. 

What else was he to say? That Junmi was actually the person who supervises over his Hanahaki? Absolutely not. He was trying to keep the disease under wraps, even from his closest friends. Not that he was ashamed of it. He just didn't want anyone thinking lowly of him for harboring feelings over Oikawa when that brat had kept him close as a companion, as a best friend, for years. Hajime felt like it was the biggest betrayal. He wasn't going to risk that friendship over something as trivial as love.

Oikawa meant the world to him. It only made sense to give the best to Oikawa and Iwaizumi was _nowhere_ near being good enough for that. 

Suddenly, Oikawa was choking on his drink. Takahiro placed a hand on his back but only to be pushed away by the sputtering idiot. His coughs racked his entire body like it was attempting to push his insides out of his mouth, Iwaizumi knows that feeling well.

 

* * *

 

Wheezing out an excuse to Takahiro, Oikawa all but ran to the exit, almost slamming into the door in the process

leaving a trail

of  _forget-me-nots_

in his wake. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt: kotarotrash  
> tumblr: kotarotrash.tumblr.com


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